she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
