you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize