you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize