My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
