Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize