Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
