Your tits are I can't wait for
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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