I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
