I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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