Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
