We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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