she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
