nut hugger
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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