ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
