In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
