its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
