she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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