I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Then you guys just all showered together...?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
