Porn is love you can see.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
