I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
