The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Randomize
