I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
