is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
