This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just gift wrapped bread.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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