In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he shaved USA in his pubs
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
