I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just saw a hot homeless man
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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