Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
