He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My pussy is not your playground.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
