You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
