And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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