Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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