when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
