Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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