my mouth tastes like poor choices
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
