the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize