420 ftw
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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