absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
