i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Life is so much better after having sex.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
