you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
