I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
