On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
