Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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