His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize