He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
