Betty ford says i'm here all night
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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