Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
