whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
