you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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