i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
