Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize