k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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