I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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