My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
