my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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