Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
