im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize