6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
