I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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