what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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