My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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