Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
