I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
