This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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