bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
