Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
