Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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