Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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