Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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