I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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