i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
