the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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