Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
